Accident Report

Someone tried to assassinate Blue Betty in the Bi-Lo parking lot today. She survived the attempt but did sustain some injuries.




I've never been in an accident before. I stopped to pick up some lunch on the way back from the clinic and as I was driving through the parking lot some girl in a Ford Explorer backed into me. Stupid Chinese food. My fat body was telling me I didn't need it, but my fat head wanted it. Now without my beautiful super-glossy light-blue exterior how will I entice old ladies into my car. I fear the Metamucil and hard candies won't be enough.