Hard Candy Christmas

Tis the season for everybody's favorite Christmas song (or at least mine)

TV Quote of the Week

"That hooker was wearing a wire. I heard the whole thing on the walkie-talkie. Its like watching your kid drown and not being able to tell him to SHUT-UP!" - Virginia (Raising Hope)

TV Quote of the Week

"Andy look...All I know is if I was a girl and had to choose between a tall dude who loved Asia and a you-looking dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters, I'd choose you...and I'd blow your mind" - Darryl (The Office)

TV Quote of the Week

"Well that's coconuts, you're super delightful" - Phil (Modern Family)

TV Quote of the Week

"If you got a problem, take it up with my butt. He's the only one that gives a crap" - Peter (Family Guy)

I also enjoyed: "India: the birthplace of diarrhea" - Roger (American Dad)

All Hail Martha Plimpton

Remember Stef from The Goonies? That's Martha Plimpton, my new favorite thing about TV. She's on the new show Raising Hope, and is so fantastic I can't ever do her justice. I recommend everybody watch the show (might I suggest the episodes Dead Tooth or Say Cheese). Here's a little clip.

Why I Don't Leave Voice Mails

This is a dramatization of a phone call I made yesterday.

Voice Mail: "...please leave your name and number and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Beeeeeep."

Me: "Hi my name is Derek, I received an email from you today inviting me to interview with your program and I was just calling to set that up. I was thinking December 17th if that was still available. Please give me a call back at....ummm...For some reason I'm blanking on my telephone number...it's....uhhh...3-3...no, wait....uhhh....ummm..."

Voice Mail: "Beeeeeep. End of message."

What a moron.